Confronting Negative Thoughts: Owning Who You Are

May 7, 2014   //   by admin   //   KMT Blog  //  No Comments

Have you ever felt like you were not good enough, passed over for a promotion, rejected in a relationship, told that you would not surmount to anything, or felt like an outsider looking in? And then you start wondering, “what is wrong with me” and start believing what was said over you must have some element of truth. Well, allow us to assist you in reframing that negative mindset, shake off self- doubt and gain your confidence back. It is time to “OWN WHO YOU ARE”.

The honest reality is that there will always be someone somewhere out there or related who carry with them their own feelings of insecurities and hurt who feel that the only way for them to feel good about themselves is to hurt others because they are hurting as well; but it does not mean that we have to allow their pain to cripple us from realizing the wonderful beings we are despite all of our past pains. The best place to start healing is from within, by living a positive and fulfilling life.

No one is going to care or love you more than you care and love yourself.

Now do not misunderstand the old adage that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is the most underestimated phrase known to mankind in my opinion, because words do hurt, they seep into our psyche and embed themselves deep down into our unconscious mind, and when we are feeling great and in control, that tiny annoying voice raises its head and pulls us into a state of uncertainty. We begin to question who we are and where do we belong? This solidifies the negative words that were spoken over us at some point in our lives. It can occur suddenly or sneak up on you like an illness causing you to feel unsettled, anxious, fearful or depressed.

Days go by with you trying to figure out why, “why am I feeling like this?” or “why am I so angry?” you cannot fully pinpoint the moment or reason that provoked those emotions in the first place and you have no idea why you feel this way or why you spent the last few days in bed/ feeling sad. Life feels like a dark cloud has rolled in, following your every step. All of a sudden, that haunting feeling of not being good enough and unworthy of happiness marinates within; for some it can become extremely overwhelming to the point of wanting to give up and for many others going through the motion of not knowing why it happened in the first place (accepting it).

It is time we recognize that words spoken over us can be deadly and can cause a lifetime of hurt but there are ways to deal with how our mind manages the discomfort of life’s challenges. To allow healing to take place, we must let go of the past and focus on the here and now.

Here are 10 steps to guide you on your way.
1. Every day see yourself as a success, despite how your mind tries to trick you.
2. Practice elements of Mindfulness and take control of your mind.
3. Start recognizing and responding to your own core values.
4. Forgiveness means letting go.
5. Embrace each day with hope and realistic expectations.
6. Build a team of genuine, supportive friends and family that believe in your vision and success.
7. Nurture moments of bliss by capturing them in some form of expression that brings you closure.
8. Stay immersed in becoming truly self-aware.
9. Embrace and love yourself, faults and all
10. Learn that living life is its own lesson and own your story.

As you can see the steps above may appear to be quite an undertaking with months of practice but it is not necessarily the case. The truth is, in life there will always be setbacks and days that may seem overwhelming, crisis after crisis, but I assure you that every moment of challenge leaves you with some aspect of growth, confidence, resilience and strength. In the long run, this will prepare you for the next setback that will most likely have a lesser impact on your life further developing your story.

Let’s communicate!!! To get you on the path of rewriting your own story and building self-confidence by taking the first step. Over the next ten weeks, we will cover each step to begin owning who you are and taking control of your mind.

Step 1

Every day see yourself as a success, despite how your mind tries to trick you.

   Starting today, write down ten things you either created, made happen, achieved, accomplished, stood out at, are proud of; no matter how big or miniscule, anything that comes to mind. Now, this may be the trickiest part of today’s lesson, allow yourself the opportunity to take it all in.

   Take a second to acknowledge your good work, all that you have already accomplished and all that you already are. Celebrate the day, feel happy where you are at; mind, body and soul. If for some reason you still feel blocked, it is alright to acknowledge the feeling and let it pass through your consciousness knowing that you are becoming more self-aware.

   Just start the process again tomorrow knowing that you are capable of recognizing areas that challenge you, but you are now more capable of allowing growth and success to take place.

Article written by Karen Thornton B.A., B.S.W., M.S.W. Candidate

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